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COTE'S COMMENTS |Hanging by a cable

'I have come to conclude that awful annoying music is played to discourage callers from accepting a place in the queue'

It is very easy to forget how much we rely on technology on a daily basis. However, when one of these devices goes wrong, that eventuality really hits us like a slap in the face.

The other day my darn cable thingy went bonkers and that shut down our WiFi signal. (I don’t know what that means but was given that reason.) My household has other devices that depend on that signal in order to do their thing. So I was virtually (pun intended) up the creek without a paddle.

Luckily, I have a cellphone and that continued to work during my personal conflagration without a working modem. The phone has a number of buttons I have to study before I dial, no not dial, tap the tiny numbered tabs.

And so I tap up my cable supplier to report my problem and a robotic voice gives me a number of options and advises that while I am an important customer, all their technicians are busy and the wait time is approximately 20 minutes. And then the worst music one has ever heard is played for your annoyance throughout the wait time. Actually, I have come to conclude that awful annoying music is played to discourage callers from accepting a place in the queue and quit waiting for a human voice to answer the call until some other time.

However, I persist in the wait. Every five minutes or so the robotic female recording reiterates how much the cable company values me as a client and they will soon connect me with a human technician. Their estimate of 20 minutes comes and goes and the music box continues to play that awful repetitive noise that pollutes the airwaves.

Finally, after 45 minutes, or it seems like a lifetime, a heavily accented pleasant voice comes on the line and asks why I am calling. I would like to tell them I had nothing better to do today but I resist improper decorum and tell them my TV isn’t working and the Blue Jays are about to lose another game. The voice advises that I will be put on hold for just a few moments while he or she adjusts the thing-a-ma-jig at their end. Oh no, NO! I am forced to listen to that torturous noise again as the technician tinkers to find an adjustment to resolve the outage.

Eventually, after listening to that music for what seems like an interminable amount of time, again the technician comes back and directs me to try the TV. I do as told and learn the Jays are losing by one run at the top of the ninth with two outs, a runner on second and two strikes on the batter.

I then thank the technician and change the channel to protest the Blue Jays losing another game and threatening to not make the run-up to the World Series. Now I find myself listening to a newscast with the most depressing stories of human oppression ever imagined.

It’s nine o’clock so it’s time to shut off the TV and go to bed. G’night.