Just lower my dang property taxes. Please. That’s all I want from municipal government. That’s all anyone wants from their municipal government.
That’s like, your whole thing; your raison d'etre. I have a house and you charge me property tax to have that house, and in return, you’re supposed to build roads so I can get to the house, and pay firefighters to rescue my house if it catches fire.
Just do that. Stick to that, because you’re already not even that good at those things, so maybe just try to work on the taxes and roads thing before you get bogged down in, oh, I dunno, solving a centuries-old conflict between two warring nations and the ensuing humanitarian crisis fallout.
I should not be writing about the Israel-Palenstine war. I’m a local news columnist. Local news. I should be doing stuff that’s in my wheelhouse, like making fun of Welland councillors for trying to solve the city’s rat infestation problem by putting in a bylaw that limits the number of bird feeders you can own. Because bird seeds attract rats (apparently; not really) and so if you can only own three bird feeders then, I guess, rats won’t exist anymore, or something.
That’s a real thing that happened back in 2019. At the time I mocked council pretty hard for it in the newspaper; called them “feeder fascists” and “the bird gestapo.” It was hilarious.
That’s the kinda low-level stuff I should be writing about. Not bloody international war.
And yet here I am. Because tomorrow evening, Niagara Region councillors are going to spend a very, very long time locked in delegations and debate and discussion about the Israel-Palestine war.
To what useful end? To what, real, credible, tangible, benefit towards ending the war? None.
The Niagara Region is barely able to successfully pick up my garbage once a week; you think they’re going to help end a war on the other side of the planet?
The council agenda for tomorrow’s meeting contains a motion up for debate, which states, “Niagara Regional Council offers support to all the Israeli’s and Palestinian Canadians living in Niagara.”
Niagara Region is barely able to successfully pick up my garbage once a week; you think they’re going to help end a war on the other side of the planet?
Where to even start with this one. Let’s begin with the punctuation mistake. “Israeli’s” With an apostrophe that turns what should be a plural into a weird possessive. Really guys? Oy vey.
Okay next thing, the actual motion itself is so bland and toothless. In order to try and avoid offending anyone, the motion has to be so watered down, so milquetoast and bland, so impotent, that it doesn’t even say or do anything of substance.
Oh great, we're “offering support.” So that means we’re freeing up some dollars for housing to resettle Palestinian children who have been displaced by the war? We’re contributing to a fund that pays for mental health therapy counseling for Israeli hostages who were held captive by Hamas?
No? None of that stuff? We’re just offering the vague notion of “support” without anything useful to back it up? Perfect. You really knocked it outta the park here Niagara Region.
Tucked inside this terrible motion is a note that says, “This motion is not to be used to foster all forms of racism, antisemitism and targeting of Jewish people living in Niagara, their businesses, and religious institutions or anti-Palestinian racism, or Islamophobia.”
Ah well, surely that will work. You’ve said that it shouldn’t be used to “foster racism,” so surely no one will do that. That’s how racism works. You just say, “Hey guys, you can’t use this to be racist okay?” and everyone nods along and agrees not to be racist. Nailed it.
I dunno why we didn’t think of just telling people they’re not allowed to “foster racism” before this week. Could’ve saved ourselves a lot of trouble had we thought of that one a few centuries ago.
The worst part about this motion is that it’s open for delegations. Which means that a whole bunch of people have registered as delegates to speak at council on Thursday.
Real work that council should be doing (see: lower my dang property taxes) is grinding to a halt so that a bunch of citizens can stand in front of council and argue about the war.
As the National Post reported a few weeks ago (in an article aptly titled: “Pointless Gaza Debates Consuming Canadian City Councils”), these war debate motions are happening across the country, and many of them devolve into shouting matches, threats of violence, hours of talking in circles, and yes… racism.
But hey, maybe those other councils forgot to mention that you’re not allowed to be racist.
James Culic pays way too much property tax. Find out how to yell at him at the bottom of the page, or send a vehement letter to the editor here.
